Mar. 5th, 2012

mezzanineview: ([Holmes] thankless job)
Welp, there goes my resolution to post more, huh? :)

I'm happy to say that mentally, I'm in a better place than my last posts, if not physically, which is a fine trade off, as far as I'm concerned. For a bit I thought my physical problems were psychosomatic because I was so distressed at that time & also couldn't really eat then, and thought that, hey, it might be repeating itself, but no, my body's still funky even though I'm doing better.

So the physical bit: for a little less than a week I'd been having some issues - stomach feeling full all the time, weird cramps, nausea and the like - and yeah, for a while I thought it was part of an anxiety attack, but it was really bad. I couldn't even eat something as bland as Ritz crackers without serious risk of gagging, and for about two days I had to have a bottle of Pepto Bismol by my side at all times. Since I got back from my dad's, the symptoms have alleviated a lot, and I'm wondering if it has anything to do with sea level frankly, but all I know is I'm doing better now, didn't have to take any antacids or anything for the first time today. I'm still looking into getting a doctor's appointment set up so I'm not tempted to go to WebMD again (the answer is always cancer with that site, haha), especially if it seems to be recurring. At the very least I know it's not ulcers, so yay :)

The rest of the weekend whipsawed between success and utter failure. Successes: I got to visit my dad! Lifting his spirits is sometimes just that simple, since he never gets to see us unless his school is on vacation that week. On Saturday everyone piled into the truck & we went out to try searching for some mud pools that used to feed into this spa that stood way back in the thirties. Found the hollowed out husk of that spa, but no mud pools, but it was still a cool day out in the wild.

Failures: dad and my brother. Urg. They're depressingly childish around each other, and while I don't grudge my dad because he's got it pretty stressful on a day to day basis, I draw the line at getting smashed and playing hideous music over the sound system at two in the morning while three others are trying to sleep. It's rude as fuck and I wish SOMEONE would have said something about it in the morning, but any hint of complaint was primarily brushed off by my brother, who was doing his best to be as racist and misogynist as possible because he loves pissing me off. I just tried not to react or cry at breakfast. Also, not vomit, because as soon as we walked through the restaurant's doors the smell of grease hit me and the nausea returned full force.

So it's been another two days of trying to relax and recover. Anyone who bought the new Andrew Bird album from his website got to download it early, so I'm enjoying that and drinking my tea, mellow as you like. I'll just leave this weekend behind me and focus on moving ahead. Promise to try and post more, lovelies.


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