mezzanineview: (Default)
mezzanineview ([personal profile] mezzanineview) wrote2011-12-31 12:46 pm

just scroll past, I'm having dumb feelings

I don't know rightly what it is about today and yesterday that's fucking with me; maybe it started with the stupid LJ debacle and how people are still staying with it despite being treated like shit and I feel nothing less than as though I'm pressuring people to follow me and causing drama, which is just the worst, most hypocritical thing to me. Causing it, because all of these things I'm stressing over and crying about are fucking hobbies and it shouldn't make me miserable, and I shouldn't listen to what trolls on the damn internet and in a damn game have to say, but I hate being treated poorly by faceless avatars. these are two separate issues, but nonetheless, hobbies aren't supposed to make me run away from them. hobbies that, no less, require other people and I have to rely on them because I've lost the ability to even write a story, and I don't have anything good to say if I did. But I know I'll stay and try to make the most of it in the hope that it'll subside again and I'll start finding things to be effortlessly glad about, not make myself in spite of people.

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