I don't really know the differences between American and English education systems, but as someone who got behind towards the end of school because of reasons and then didn't do so well at trying to make up for that at college the following year? And then had to spend several extra years trying to get as far as everyone else for my age group for what I wanted to do, I can understand to a degree just how stressful and isolating it is to be in that position. I know I personally put too much pressure on myself because I was trying to catch up so desperately for something I wanted, and then there were people wanting me to finally get somewhere, but I forced too hard and eventually just settled for the best I could get.

If you're really that unhappy, and if you don't feel like you can cope with it enough to get to where you want to be, there must be someone who you can maybe speak to about it. Do they have careers advisors there? Maybe someone who can help to go through everything, see if there's a way to make it easier on you somehow, and if not then alternative options. Like I said, I'm not sure how it works, but if you can sit and talk to someone who knows then maybe you can find a way to make it work.