mezzanineview | (no subject)

You okay?

Abso-fucking-lutely not. I don't get to walk for graduation.

why?

English and two percentage points.

I'm sorry, =/

Yeah, it's not your fault, so don't think I'm mad at you.

wish there was something I could do

Yeah, don't feel bad, it's not something you can fix :( I just wish I hadn't been so damn stupid.

*hugs*
shit. i'm so sorry.
i wish there was something i could do
that sucks so much

*hug* Thanks hun.

of course sweetie
i hope you can work things out.

:((((

I'm so sorry, honey.

*hugggggs*

Don't think of it as being a disappointment. Also, ignore this now and think about it much later. :P But think of it as one of those random things that happen, and that maybe something good that you didn't realize will come out of it in the end, that you might never know about, but might have affected you horribly if this particular thing had gone the way you wanted, and remind yourself that everyone does things on their own timeline. This sounds horribly cliche, but it's one of the (few) things I've managed to learn about life when stuff goes wrong. *sigh* Hang in there. If you need an ear, I'm here. ♥

♥ I really didn't mean to throw a pity party here, but you still know how to make things sound okay with your wicked Jedi mind tricks, even idiotic failure. Thanks anyways, SA

Heed the mind tricks! ♥♥♥ And idiotic failure would be missing it by, like, 45% or something. Once I failed a math unit test (like, needed for passing the unit for that term - my school was on a three-term system) and I got um, 9%. And that was with the .5% my teacher pityingly gave me for writing my name correctly. >.> I know about idiotic, miserable failure. This will be bad for right now. It will feel horrible for probably about three months. And then it will stop being important. Can you take a course in summer or something, to fix whatever little thing it was/jump through the requisite hoop? It sucks. I'm so sorry. :( There's nothing that can change that. But in, like, three years? It won't matter at all. It doesn't fix the now part, but hold onto that nonetheless?

*loves*

Oh, that's horrible >.< I'm no good at math either, so I definitely feel your pain. And yeah, can take summer school to make up for the grade, but the part I'm crying and damning myself over is that I don't get to walk and sit with my friends. It doesn't make sense; nobody sitting on the field wants to suffer through board members and vacuous class presidents making the same speeches the year previous did. It's totally and unabashedly ceremonial, yet they can't let me put on a show for my relatives and just take the summer school course. It's the difference between front stage and behind-the-scenes. And the teacher that failed me won't accept any of the late work I have because A) he outlined in his rubric that he wouldn't accept late work, yet he did at the end of the year, after I thought he didn't want it, B) he think I'm a slacker for missing 8 days of his class this semester, which is bullshit because for 3 of those I was genuinely sick, 2 he actually told us not to come because AP/IB testing was going on and he wasn't going to resume making us do work until they were over, so we watched foreign films in class, and many of the rest of the absences were excused because I had orthodontist appointments. So now because of his stubbornness I forced myself into my room with nothing but my laptop and lengths of toilet paper, because I don't have a box of tissues, and I have to listen to my grandma cry upstairs and damn the school because she of course doesn't think I deserve to fail, and I'm waiting for what my brother and my dad and my uncles will say. Life sucks right now.

*loves back*

Fuck school. You got fucked by the system a little and the world is gonna seem a little darker for a while, but everything balances out in the end.

Call me sometime. I'll come bearing Americone Dream and Tarantino flicks, and you'll find that I am a first-degree world-class cheer-upper. Love ya, kid.

Do you want to hang out tomorrow? I have little hope that your buddy Butera will change his mind and grow a heart anyway, so it's not like I'll be doing anything.

Sure. Fuck Butes, too, if he's really being this stubborn. Maybe you should give it one more try. Tell him how the two percent is all that's keeping you from walking the last mile (again, if you've already said it). Now that I think of it, how do you even know that you won't get that last few percentage points? I remember not getting my final grades back in the mail until summer began - did he just directly confirm to you that 1. You're not passing the class for absolute certain and 2. that he knows that this would prevent you from graduating? It's hard to believe that anybody would be that callous. I don't really know anything here, but if I were you, I'd give it one more try on him.

But that's just me personally. I don't know when to drop shit. Either way, I'll definitely hang with you tomorrow.

Yeah, my grandma got the call from the office, so she called me (I had been--oh my god--graduation shopping with my uncle, so I had to drive home right away from San Juan Capistrano) and we went to see my counselor, who said things coul still be changed if the teacher would submit any. We went to talk to him, he didn't buy any of it. He confirmed the numbers one and two you mentioned, and said that he wouldn't change it because there are others in the same boat that I am and he doesn't want to hold a double standard. As far as I know, no one else is failing IB Lit. Nevertheless, I wrote him a letter and e-mailed any possible late work, but I'm not holding my breath because I'm liable to suffocate. Oh yes, he's a callous bastard, better believe it.

Oh and did I mention John had Butera at Saddleback last semester? And that he paid me to do the grand majority of his essays? And that he passed? I'm really wishing I never learned the term "irony".

Call me any time or I'll call or text or AIM, whatever. Thanks

I tried your phone a couple times tonight, but I couldn't even get to a place where I could leave a message. I'm generally always on IM, though. And if you don't have reliable internets, I know your email, and if you don't know mine, I have a gmail that works, backofmycaddy (at) gmail dot com. All else fails, you have my number :) See you tomorrow <3