mezzanineview | (no subject)

(no subject)

I fucking hate myself. I'm such a disappointment. Don't look for me on the football field.

♥ I really didn't mean to throw a pity party here, but you still know how to make things sound okay with your wicked Jedi mind tricks, even idiotic failure. Thanks anyways, SA

Heed the mind tricks! ♥♥♥ And idiotic failure would be missing it by, like, 45% or something. Once I failed a math unit test (like, needed for passing the unit for that term - my school was on a three-term system) and I got um, 9%. And that was with the .5% my teacher pityingly gave me for writing my name correctly. >.> I know about idiotic, miserable failure. This will be bad for right now. It will feel horrible for probably about three months. And then it will stop being important. Can you take a course in summer or something, to fix whatever little thing it was/jump through the requisite hoop? It sucks. I'm so sorry. :( There's nothing that can change that. But in, like, three years? It won't matter at all. It doesn't fix the now part, but hold onto that nonetheless?

*loves*

Oh, that's horrible >.< I'm no good at math either, so I definitely feel your pain. And yeah, can take summer school to make up for the grade, but the part I'm crying and damning myself over is that I don't get to walk and sit with my friends. It doesn't make sense; nobody sitting on the field wants to suffer through board members and vacuous class presidents making the same speeches the year previous did. It's totally and unabashedly ceremonial, yet they can't let me put on a show for my relatives and just take the summer school course. It's the difference between front stage and behind-the-scenes. And the teacher that failed me won't accept any of the late work I have because A) he outlined in his rubric that he wouldn't accept late work, yet he did at the end of the year, after I thought he didn't want it, B) he think I'm a slacker for missing 8 days of his class this semester, which is bullshit because for 3 of those I was genuinely sick, 2 he actually told us not to come because AP/IB testing was going on and he wasn't going to resume making us do work until they were over, so we watched foreign films in class, and many of the rest of the absences were excused because I had orthodontist appointments. So now because of his stubbornness I forced myself into my room with nothing but my laptop and lengths of toilet paper, because I don't have a box of tissues, and I have to listen to my grandma cry upstairs and damn the school because she of course doesn't think I deserve to fail, and I'm waiting for what my brother and my dad and my uncles will say. Life sucks right now.

*loves back*

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