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Feb. 3rd, 2007 02:44 pm[mood| 
uncomfortable]
[music|Lady Madonna--The Beatles, Love]
At what point in your life do you become aware of the degree that things, good or bad, affect you in regards of attitude, opinion, emotions, or what have you? I find myself asking this question because I've come to this terrifying crossroad in my head where I can't really feel anything. I'm not damaged, per se, but I really think I should be more affected by the events in my life, not just feel like a spectator.
Winter Formal should have been a wonderful time for me, but I'm just out of place, ad even so, that doesn't bother me because I've already glazed it over in my head. I can't seem to connect experiences to emotional impact anymore. A teacher at my highschool just died, for Christ's sake, and I feel nothing but a tweak of remorse (in my defense, I never met him, but Liz and Sandi had him), the I've already moved on since finding out just yesterday. My grades have dropped in many of my classes, yet I can't bring myself to do makeup work, or do the mindlesly tedious homework assigned to us. What's going on? Am I just taking what I have for granted? Am I rationalizing what's happening in order to maintain a mental status quo?
It's unsettling how little I care.
uncomfortable][music|Lady Madonna--The Beatles, Love]
At what point in your life do you become aware of the degree that things, good or bad, affect you in regards of attitude, opinion, emotions, or what have you? I find myself asking this question because I've come to this terrifying crossroad in my head where I can't really feel anything. I'm not damaged, per se, but I really think I should be more affected by the events in my life, not just feel like a spectator.
Winter Formal should have been a wonderful time for me, but I'm just out of place, ad even so, that doesn't bother me because I've already glazed it over in my head. I can't seem to connect experiences to emotional impact anymore. A teacher at my highschool just died, for Christ's sake, and I feel nothing but a tweak of remorse (in my defense, I never met him, but Liz and Sandi had him), the I've already moved on since finding out just yesterday. My grades have dropped in many of my classes, yet I can't bring myself to do makeup work, or do the mindlesly tedious homework assigned to us. What's going on? Am I just taking what I have for granted? Am I rationalizing what's happening in order to maintain a mental status quo?
It's unsettling how little I care.
