there'd be no distance that could hold us back

Aside from freaking myself out reading Web MD, I've been making a mad scramble to get in control of my stress levels with varying degrees of success. A product of having such an avoidant personality is corners like the ones I do drive myself into emotionally, and maybe when I got that letter about my schooling early in February, I may have started to drive myself crazy with anxiety, which would be feckless in and of itself since there's only so much that educational systems allow you to do at one time, so playing catchup is all a matter of taking it easy anyway and getting your shit in on time.

I suppose it doesn't help that I'm getting pressure from my dad to get some things rolling, but all I can tell him is the truth: I'm doing the best I can. I can take more classes and get an AA out of the way and hopefully get a job, but it will take time, time I've kind of already blown a bit of, but doubtless given perseverance I can get all of this through.

So I'm practicing giving less fucks about frivolous things, hoping that'll unclench my stomach and allow me a little peace from the constant worrying. I've stopped reading comment sections and forums entirely, tumblr savior'd bullshit I'm tired of hearing about and I just want to relax.

Breathe in, breathe out.

Whew, so. Re: last entry, I have exactly one friend that I've vehemently held on to since high school and still see him frequently, both of us altering our schedules on a regular basis just to hang out with each other more. And he came home from work tonight and let me sob and whinge and cry all over his couch, then proceeded to outline that his degree and his education have actually done very little in the process of getting him his current job, that a lot of it was sheer, dumb luck and the fretting I've been doing over mine is overwrought in some aspects, and at worst, is combining my intense anxiety with the nasty bit of stomach virus I have to make my life a physical living hell.

So yeah. We both agreed that talking to a counselor first would be the best possible start, then gave me some insight into job hunting, student loans, the never-ending, oft-difficult pathways of taking the classes one needs to Get Shit Done, and basically yeah, he talked me down from the ledge because he's some kind of fucking analysis guru that can figure out my shit better than I can I am so grateful for his existence.

Then he gave me some tums, made me tea, and we called out sick to our WoW raid so we could watch anime and have some time to unwind. He's seriously the best. I realize that the road ahead going to be shitty and there are built in spots where I'm going to slip, and my family is going to be a pain in the ass with their foot tapping on when the heck ever I'm going to be getting my AA, but you know what? That's fine. They can wait. I'm doing this at my pace and I've found the fire lit under my butt to do it. I'm going to sleep better tonight than I did last night, that's for sure.

TINGLING WITH ANTICIPATION FOR THE NEW EPISODE OF SHERLOCK.

Please don't screw up Irene Adler, Moffatt. Pleeeeaaaaaase.

Happy holidays, mes amies <3

Hullo hullo, I seem to have returned to my infrequent updating. Truthfully, not a lot happening besides school and the odd side job for my cousins which finance my misadventures, but I did see the new Pegg/Frost venture Paul. Definitely scratched my nerdly itchy place with all the fabulous dorkiness and shippers on deck and Simon Pegg & Nick Frost being massive, massive LOVE. icedmaple and I spent a good long time theorizing what Star Wars characters Graeme and Clive would have played as children, and the fact that the movie could spawn that kind of conversation is more than enough to make me love it :) Surprisingly enough, I didn't hate Seth Rogan in it, which make the tally of movies he's in that remain safe for public consumption up to two.

I have a few fic ideas, mostly concerning getting from the end of the movie to the Comic Con in the credits, but nothing solid yet, working on it in my free time, in between WoWing and writing for the Tron prompt meme still. So much fandom work to do :)


In the meantime, when Sean and I aren't gnashing our teeth and waiting to transfer our main Warcraft characters to a different, more active server/guild, we're watching Lost--not new for him, but new for me, most definitely, as I was incredibly skeptical during its original run. For my part, I wasn't completely sold on it until about the middle of the second season, or until Desmond started being a more regularly occurring character and the show got past how fucking annoying and dumb Michael became at the start of the season. Season one was great, yes but I could tell I wasn't fully invested for a long while, not at least until the overall plot started moving forward a little more and got past the survivors-adjusting-to-their-situation phase. We're somewhere in the early fourth season now, and I really want to check out what kind of fandom this has, but I'm deathly afraid to accidentally spoil myself though with this kind of show, that may be next to impossible since almost everything is so fucking obtuse anyway. I think people overstate how confusing it is, or mix up confusing for baffling, but I'm pretty glad I got talked into watching.

And the music is rather awesome. Four for you, Michael Giacchino, you brilliant bastard.

Let's not even talk about the superbowl bc it's already been talked to death. Yes, even Christina Aguilera, and man, it's a huuuge overreaction to say that flubbing the national anthem is unpatriotic, but it's fair to criticize her for messing up because of the sheer amount of people tuning in. It's embarrassing, not a mortal sin. For the evening, the only thing I even cared about was seeing the TV spot for Captain America, so I can call myself satisfied. I'll sit back and enjoy the snarky commentary on the aftermath.

Also, the half time show with the Black Eyed Peas was FAR more offensive, to taste if not national pride. Keep things in perspective, kids.

Still kind of obsessed with Tron, to no one's surprise (hopefully). The aesthetic is fucking incredible and the themes & character exploration left open for fanworks is so full of promise. Daddy issues, long term separation, abandonment, the interesting, pseudo-religious relationship between Users and Programs, Flynn's relationships with the people in his real life and their digital counterparts, unfulfilled potential, genocide, pure creation, the list goes on. Lots of material to play with between original movie, the Betrayal comic, and Tron: Legacy, and how it goes from campy, computer concept playland to the glassy, sleek future world & deepest reaches of angstville, oooh, j'adore ♥ Where canon may not execute to the best degree, there is no shortage of ideas to play with.

And I found a prompt I want to write, and started doing an actual outline last night :) Tron has kind of the same porn problems sparked by a kinkmeme as other fandoms, along with some kinks I'm really not into, but it's producing some astoundingly well-written and thoughtful gems. The level of artwork is as to be expected in a small fandom, but there is some absolutely gorgeous work available to whet creative appetites.

The tumblr fandom is hilarious and irreverent, and some of that is bleeding into the LJ fandom, which is appreciated, cuz this shouldn't be a a fandom that takes itself too serious, especially with regard to the 1982 film. Not that LJ fandom was taking itself seriously, but it's a little inactive. I expect it to pick up after the DVD release in April *g* But yes, mostly infatuated with the overall feel. Real world, glowy, sleek digital world, Daft Punk soundtrack, the cast is adorable, and man, who doesn't love Jeff Bridges?

In real life news, roommate is seriously considering entering the military. I have absolutely zero against the military, but this is fucking stupid because he has no idea what he's getting himself into. No one says they're excited at the prospect of boot camp. His ego is far too big to take orders from anyone; even after all this shit with him getting a DUI and putting him community service off till the last minute, he has such a superiority complex that if he does end up in the military, it'll be to a rude fucking awakening. The dude cannot even clean up after himself, how does he expect to survive asdfjkl; *rage*

Aaaand my brother ended up in hospital for a night. The past couple months, he'd been steadfastly refusing to acknowledge he's been drinking too much, but Sam finally got him to concede the point about two weeks ago. He's stopped going to his usual spot after work, and is instead taking walks in an attempt to lose some of the weight he put on. So Saturday he agrees to go for a few drinks with some coworkers, and he thought he wasn't overdoing it, but he ended up all passed out. Someone got really freaked and called for an ambulance, he apparently fought the EMTs, so not only is there a bruise in the crook of his arm from the catheter, there are finger shaped marks all up and down his upper arms and a scrape on the bridge of his nose *sigh*

He does feel incredibly bad over it, though, so that's something. I haven't seen him take a drink since, and while I'm not a believer in cold turkey, he seems to be doing better. Sam and I are trying to help in any way we can.

I applied for a job that starts the day at five am, but I am a total morning person, so I'm not too worried. Crossing my fingers and hoping to be hired. The house in a state of flux, and usually either too much food or too little and now's the latter.

Kieth has an announcement tomorrow! *grabs popcorn*

In conclusion,

Holy shit, why is Keith Olbermann gone form MSNBC? :'(

It's probably not my place to be so excited about the upcoming Marvel movies, BUT I AM OH YES. Admittedly, this is mostly spurned from receiving Iron Man 2 on DVD for my birthday & getting re-caught-up with all the happenings in the lead up movies for The Avengers, but am now about filled with 150% liquified geekitude and thankful I don't have money to burn because it would be thrown at FUCKING COMIC BOOKS. /run on


So that means I spent yesterday both watching Iron Man 1 & 2 and resisting the temptation to strangle The Roommate because he cannot watch ANYTHING without a constant stream inane, base commentary. If I were to make a drinking game out of the number of times he said "Oh yeah, feels good" or called someone a bitch in a film/video game/whatever, I'd have alcohol poisoning within the half hour. ESPECIALLY bothersome if it's a movie you're seeing for the first time; why in the world would you want to talk over plot points and dialogue WHICH YOU DON'T KNOW ARGH. It's kind of the same thing to me as singing along to any song you hear, but I digress. This is all part of spelling out that he's very uncomfortable to be around--can't keep badgering him to be decent (in general. like, he regularly walks around without a shirt with all his hairy nipples hanging out and constantly scratching his balls and yuck) because he goes back to his pre-informed way quickly, and after months we haven't been able to train him :/


ANYWAYS IRON MAN. When I could ignore Jase and concentrate on the films. Quite possibly the best superhero series there's been, or at least on the level with The Dark Knight and Watchmen (♥♥♥ personal favorite of mine, but I know not everyone liked it). ( and on while I'm talking about the Dark Knight )


They all have their merits, but I feel like I have to give Iron Man major props for not going straight for the dark. depressing. intense. road. It's not like you have to do that in order to be taken seriously as a superhero movie; however, Iron Man is uniquely qualified to be both light and believable (and by believable I mean the ease with which suspension of disbelief can be applied when it comes to a billionaire engineering prodigy making a rocket suit) because the story doesn't try to be hyper complex with its themes, and no one plays Jerk With a Heart of Gold quite like Robert Downey Jr. There are no heavy metaphors thrown around like in Watchmen or TDK but it doesn't need it. The overall focus on the quality of character development plus the attention to detail is more than enough to not only make it completely watchable, but it excels at what it does. The sequel gets some of that typical sophomore bloat, especially with the expanded cast, and while it's expected, I enjoyed it as much as the first, thought the first is the better film.


Of course, I'm all about the little things. Watching how all the bits of the suit whirr and fit together, and the dialogue where the characters all kinda affably talk over each other in a Lebowski-esque fashion, and all delicious delicious technology porn is just the kind of nerdy fan service that makes the Iron Man films delightful :) What the movies rely on is Tony Stark, and what sells Tony Stark is not only the charm and slightly assholish nature, but backing up his ego with actual scenes where he sits there and figures shit out and they go through lengths to actually show he's a genius engineer. And that's like catnip to me, hehe.


So yes. The moral of this story: I am an all-consuming nerd, Jase is not invited to see Thor/Captain America/The Avengers with me, and the cake is a lie.


And Tony Stark fucked Peter Parker.

I got hit by this meme from lucia_tanaka Fear my washed out complexion...

If you read this, you're tagged. Take a picture of you in your current state, no changing your clothes or quickly putting on makeup. NO PHOTOSHOP. Show your f-list the real you!

( In my defense it's raining and humidity makes my hair go frizzzz )


Doctor Who Xmas special was most enjoyable, if ridiculous, but we all know to expect that by now: the Doctor busted a Sherlock! Bowtie: still cool. Motherloving SHAAAAARKS. Accidentally marrying Marilyn Monroe! Good stuff, all of it ♥ I was more interested in the trailer for next series; America! Stetsons are cool! Inexplicable nekkid!River! I'm all smiles :)